Three life changing questions

Here are some simple but powerful questions which can, over time and with deliberate practice, transform you – if you ask yourself:

• Am I Present?

• Am I Open?

• Am I Doing What Matters?

These questions form the basis of psychological flexibility: mindful, values-based living.

Ask yourself: Am I present?

That is, am I focused on what I am doing, or engaged with the world around me, or paying full attention to the people with whom I am interacting? If the answer is yes, great; notice how much more effective you are, or how much more fulfilling your life is, when you are fully present. If the answer is no, then gently acknowledge that you are distracted, unfocused, half-present, disengaged or operating on automatic pilot – refocus your attention on wherever you are, whatever you are doing, whoever you are with.

Ask yourself: Am I open?

In other words, am I making room for my thoughts and feelings; allowing them to flow freely through me, instead of resisting them, running from them, or getting swept away by them? If the answer is yes, notice how much easier your life is when you allow your emotional weather to be as it is. If the answer is no, kindly acknowledge this, and then see if you can gently open up & make some space for your thoughts and feelings. For example, breathe into a feeling, or acknowledge ‘I’m having the thought that…’ See the difference even a little more openness can make.

Ask yourself: Am I doing what matters?

For instance, am I acting on my values, doing something meaningful or purposeful, behaving like the kind of person I want to be? If the answer is yes, take a moment to savour the richness this adds to your life. If the answer is no, kindly and gently acknowledge this, then get in touch with your values. You may then decide to go and do something completely different or continue what you are doing but now link consciously it to your values.

These questions; Am I present? Am I open? Am I doing what matters? form the basis of psychological flexibility, so ask them regularly, and notice your life transform.